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8 Feb

3 Lessons On Penny Stocks I Would Give Martin Shkreli

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Martin Shkreli, the 32-year-old hedge fund manager turned pharmaceutical executive and dubbed the most-hated man in the English-speaking world for his outrageous greed, insolent and unrepentant behavior could use a few lessons from me on how to make money legitimately trading penny stocks.

But first, I want to encapsulate why I think Shkreli’s suddenly catapulted himself as the FBI’s Public Enemy No. 1.

It’s one thing to hate George Soros for his slimy and insinuating ways of molding his public image to one of a financial genius when we all know he’s an insider protected by camera-shy puppet masters; it’s another when someone of Shkreli’s unrefined ilk likens himself to the already-hated lackeys of the West’s shadow neo-feudal system (“The Club”).  Soros, of course, has held the no. 1 lackey spot for as long as I can remember, and Shkreli sought to rival George Schwartz (Soro’s real name).

And here’s where Shkreli’s confrontation with the doorman of The Club made even Snooki blush at his attempted entrance.

“I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I liken myself to the robber barons,” Shkreli said during an interview with Vanity Fair regarding the 5,000% price hike.  “The attempt to public shame is interesting. Because everything we’ve done is legal.  Rockefeller made no attempt to apologize as long as what he was doing was legal.”

Of all the quotes attributed to Shkreli, that one must have directed the FBI goons (quaintly called ‘gendarmerie’ in French colonies) to yank him to the head of the line as the next contestant of the ‘perp walk’ of fame.  That garish response of course followed public outrage from revelations that as CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals he raise a lifesaving drug to $750 from $13.50.  Even Hillary Clinton has made a campaign issue from Shkeri’s lunacy.   Timing is everything.

As Bugs Bunny would have said, “Wadda a maroon.”

Instead of immediately maneuvering to a tack of damage control as expected during such popular culture exposes, Shkreli incredulously compounded his public relations problem by not only spiking the ire of a public already primed for revolt against a replay of the Robber Baron Age of the 19th century; he artfully honed the focus of the pent-up rage onto himself, personally.

They want your fucking retirement money; they want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all from you sooner or later because they own this fucking place. It’s a big club and you ain’t in it! You and I are not in the Big Club. —George Carlin

That means you, too, Shkreli.

Okay, I got the Martin Shkreli ‘thing’ off my chest.  Whether the guy suffers with a drug problem, or sociopathy, I know I can at least give the guy a tip or two regard penny stocks, assuming it’s not too late for the social defect.

  1. Don’t use your e-trade account as bond for your bail and not close out your positions.  Dumb.  A move against your positions will not only make you poor again; it will land you in the clinker for violating your bond agreement with the aforementioned gendarmerie.
  2. Leveraging your positions only hastened your trip to said clinker.  Dumber.
  3. Not only did you nauseate the West’s landed gentry, you’ve violated rule no. 1 of the rest of us.  “Everyone knows, don’t mess with Wu Tang Clan.”  I, for one, would take a bullet to see Once Upon a Time in Shaolin sold at auction, and take two bullets to see you take a capital loss on the sale.

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1 Comment

  1. Christopher J Smith

    You like wu-tang Jason? favorite song? This is christopher J Smith by the way.

    Reply

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